Ms. Parker in Korea!

This next post was not written by me.  It was written by a teacher who lived near Seoul for 3 years.  I found this post of hers by accident and laughed myself silly.  The stuff in bold that I highlight are things that we ourselves have noticed or experienced already.  This was written as an end to her blog as she has since left Korea.   Enjoy the nice read.........

"Goodbye Korea. Goodbye ajummas and ajosshis. Goodbye girls who wear shorts in winter. Goodbye kimbap, kimchi, ramyun, chapjae, veggie mandu. Goodbye weird brand names that I won't see elsewhere (Ask Enquired?). Goodbye random children saying hello. Goodbye scooters that pass you on the sidewalk. Goodbye tiled rooftops. Goodbye wall of ass. Goodbye bent over halmonis with silver teeth. Goodbye taxi drivers that smell like ginseng. Goodbye hangeul. Goodbye Yudal. Goodbye Kimbap Nara. Goodbye Dak galbi. Goodbye soju. Goodbye chunners and man won. Goodbye the feeling of understanding or being understood. Goodbye Samsung and Hyundae everything. Goodbye small white or black cars (and rarely blue or yellow ones). Goodbye Konglish. Goodbye circular logic. Goodbye temples. Goodbye big bronze bells. Goodbye colourfully painted pagodas. Goodbye neon lights. Goodbye norae bangs. Goodbye boybands. Goodbye random gifts and service-eu. Goodbye newbies and lifers. Goodbye giving directions to people using a million different landmarks. Goodbye miming in the post office to buy stamps. Goodbye my awesome cellphone. Goodbye PC bangs. Goodbye skinny cigarettes. Goodbye spitting on sidewalks and being pushed out of the way. Goodbye recycling everywhere, even in McDonald's. Goodbye Mokpo and Suncheon and Gwangju. Goodbye Yeosu and Wando and Seoul. Goodbye Gyeongju and Jinju and Busan. Goodbye mountains like Jirisan and Wolchulsan. Goodbye quiet beaches (outside of beach season). Goodbye self-camming in public. Goodbye cherry blossom season. Goodbye yellow dust. Goodbye barking dogs, and mini-puppies carried as fashion accessories. Goodbye Hello Kitty everywhere. Goodbye cheap and weird socks. Goodbye young guys dressed to the nines. Goodbye technology that is ahead of its time. Goodbye squat toilets. Goodbye heated bidets with blowdryers. Goodbye flower arrangements that are out of this world. Goodbye almost being hit by a car every day. Goodbye cheap buses, in and out of the city. Goodbye the uniformity of appearance. Goodbye stripey scarves and sparkly t-shirts. Goodbye cafeteria food, including tentacle surprise. Goodbye Spam in everything. Goodbye hot goguma on the street. Goodbye fish shaped cookies. Goodbye ddeok. Goodbye metal chopsticks. Goodbye gochujang. Goodbye funny winter hats that look like animal heads. Goodbye Jeju. Goodbye "I don't know, lives in sea". Goodbye "It's Korean tradition". Goodbye annyeong haseyo and kamsahamnida. Goodbye Mr Kim and Mr Lee and Mrs Park and Mrs Oh. Goodbye Hite. Goodbye Homeplus and Emart. Goodbye fishing boats at 5 am and the Jeju ferry boat at 9:30 pm. Goodbye taeguki. Goodbye taekwondo. Goodbye flat-screen satellite TVs everywhere. Goodbye to the noise. Goodbye jimjilbang. Goodbye face masks. Goodbye ridiculous high heels (that I secretly covet). Goodbye mascots on street corners. Goodbye hanuiwan and acupuncture. Goodbye "good for health" and "good for stamina". Goodbye green tea in temple tea shops. Goodbye cranes hunting frogs in rice paddies. Goodbye bongo trucks. Goodbye ddong-chim. Goodbye being told how beautiful you are by strangers. Goodbye cheap eyeglasses. Goodbye to being waygook. Goodbye dabangs and double barber poles. Goodbye to weird Korean comedy programs on TV that involve hitting each other with inflated squeaky hammers. Goodbye "I'mfinethankyouandyou". Goodbye "Whel all you prom?". Goodbye to the crazy old men outside of the train station. Goodbye walking to the head of the line in a bank or post office because you have no idea where else to go. Goodbye lotus ponds. Goodbye amazing fireworks. Goodbye surprises every day. Goodbye quiz nights. Goodbye squeally musical instruments and wavering voices. Goodbye canned keyboard accompaniment. Goodbye French nights. Goodbye world travel. Goodbye Nami, Minsu, Thomas and the rest of the weird kids on the government approved CD-Roms for ESL. Goodbye "Maybe". Goodbye yes as no and no as yes. Goodbye friends from around the world ~ you have become our family."


Ms. Parker in Korea!

Today, You Teach Me English!

Cast of characters in today's interesting story....

Army wife ~ AW
American Soldier (husband of AW) ~ AS
American Soldier who is also Filipino ~ AF
Grandfatherly Korean man ~ GK
Me

Today started out crappy.  My intention was to get the boys registered for school, get our ration cards, go to ACS (Army Community Center) for information on tomorrow's excursion, hit the library and then possibly go to the commissary.  I was out of my infamous Diet Mountain Dew. 

We got to the registrar's office.  They gave me all the paperwork I needed to fill out for both Eric and Matthew but the Osan rep. hadn't arrived yet.  So, the kids and I decided to head out and try to fill out the other obligations I had set.  Eventually, I let Matt take Lauren back to the hotel room while Eric and I headed back to the registrar's office to meet the Osan rep.  Now mind you, since we have no vehicle....we had to walk everywhere.  Sure, we could have taken the bus, but this base is soooooo small that that was just obsurd. 

As Eric and I headed back, dark clouds loomed.  The hot, humid air turned ice cold.  I told Eric we should head back because we had no umbrella.  Of course, Eric wants to trudge on and face the consequences.  After convincing Eric that he was out of his ever-living-mind, we turned back and went back to the hotel.  The sprinkles started and by the time we got to the front entrance doors to the hotel....heaven gave way.

We had been couped up in the hotel room for the whole day.  Rain, thunder, lightening, and more rain.  The base supposedly closed down because of heavy flooding.  Yeah, it was that bad.  The rain was constant....fast and heavy for over 6 hours.

So, after being couped up, I had to get outside.  Outside the front of the hotel is a little pavillion.  I think I mentioned this before.  A lot of us living in the hotel come outside there and talk/hangout/smoke/just get fresh air. 

I was the first to go outside.  After sitting there people watching, AW shows up.  Her and I sat there talking about the happenings of adjusting, when a little GK walks by.  "Annyeong-haseyo, " I say.  "Annyeong-haseyo," he replies.  And he smiles and goes into the hotel.  AW and I go back to talking when the little GK comes out smiling with a hot coffee in one hand and in the other, the Stars and Stripes newspaper.

He says "hello" in the cutest Engrish ever to both of us.  He asks if we are American and we nod and say "yes."  He sits next to me, opens the newspaper, then says, "Today, you teach me English."  I smiled and said, "okay."  He read the top news to me, "Gates In Korea to Discuss Tour Lengths." 

GK~  "I understand Gates.  He top defense guy."
Me~  "Correct."
GK~  "Gates in Korea to discuss....Discuss mean talk?"
Me~  "Correct."
GK~  "...to discuss tour lengths.  I don't get.  Tour...mean take trip to look around?"
Me~  "Well, yeah, tour does mean that but in this instance it doesn't mean that."
GK~  "English hard."  He laughs.
Me~  "Well, you are doing a pretty good job.  Tour...in this sentence, it is talking about a military man's stay in another country."
GK~  "Hmm...still don't get.  What is lengths?"
Me~  "Lengths is referring to time.  Gates wants to changes the time a military man has to stay out of his country."
GK~  "English is hard.  Still don't understand."
Me~  "My husband's tour in Korea is 2 years.  We will live here 2 years.  Gates wants to change that.  We might stay longer or shorter."
GK~  "Ohhhhh!"

We go through the paper some more and we come upon the word "deployment."

GK~  "What is a deployment.  Very big word."
Me~  "Deployment is actually kind of like the word tour."
GK~  "Why not they say tour instead?"
Me~  "Because English is hard."  We both laughed.

We then talked about accents.  I explained that in Korea they have accents as well.  There is the Daegu accent, the Busan accent, the Seoul accent, and I'm sure there are others.  Americans have accents.  There is the southeren drawl, the northeast, midwest, and I just said the California accent (because from movies and TV, that is what they mainly see and hear.)  He pointed out that the English they learn are from Koreans who were taught English.  And most of that English is American.  One word in particular that annoyed him (that brought up this whole discussion) was the word "water."  He said Americans say "wadder" but he was taught "water" with an emphasis on the "T."  I told him that he said the word correctly but as Americans our English was "lax."  We speak the same English as the Brits but because the first thirteen colonies had been away from England so long...as time progressed our English changed as well to what it is today.  He replied with an "oooooh."  He taught me something though.  I never realized that from a foreign perspective, I was pronouncing "water" as "wadder."

Around this time AS and AF show up.  GK starts explaining (about what I already knew) that the old Koreans love Americans because of the Korean War.  He explained that he was 6 when the war broke out.  He became a refugee and he and his family were forced to move south towards Busan.  At this time, he had us laughing because he explained it was at that time he came upon his first American.  Because he was only six, his father seemed big to him.  But when he came to see the first American, he thought we were giants from a land of giants.  He knew then that these giants would win because North Koreans were small like his father.  Kekeke.

He then asked us what part of the states we were from...

GK to AS~  "Where you from?"
AS~  "I'm from Virginia."
GK~  "West Virginia?"
AS~  "No, just Virginia."
GK~  "I visit W.Virginia.  Mountains big.  Scary.  We might fall off mountain."  *he gestured a lot with his hands.*

GK to AF~  "Where you from?"
AF~  "I'm from the Philipines."
GK~  "You not American?"
AF~  "I'm half.  My mother is Filipino."

I don't remember what exactly happened here but he started talking about how Korea used to be an underdeveloped country.  Comparing the country to Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, etc.  I told him that Korea was far from being underdeveloped.  That well, yes, there were ungodly amount of rice paddies everywhere....but the cities were far more advanced than some American cities and that Seoul was much bigger than New York.  That the entertainment, electronic and fashion industry had bipassed us by far.

He then talked about the States being the "police of the world."  I asked him how he felt about that.  Was it appalling to the average Korean?  That sort of thing.  He explained that he had nothing against it.  That if it wasn't for the Americans, he would not be here.  If it wasn't for the Americans, there would still be a Saddam Hussein.  And on and on and on......

He then explained that the new generations didn't take to kindly to the American occupation but he then went on that as long as there were "halboji's" (grandfathers) around, they would keep teaching the youngers about Americans.

Somehow, he then changed topic directions again....

GK~  "Where you from?"
Me~  "I'm from Texas."
GK~  "City?"
Me~  "Dallas."  *Of course, I say this because it's the closest big city and like he would know where Grand Prairie was.  Grand Prairie is in Dallas county.......Kekeke.*
GK~  "Everyone in Korea know Dallas."
Me~  "They do?"
GK~  "Forty-seven years ago......all over world know Dallas.  When President Kennedy got shot."  *He then again used gestures of a man holding a shotgun.*
Me~  "Ah, yes.  There is a museum and memorial of the place where he got shot.  I don't think Dallas wants to be remembered of that fact, though."
GK~  "Ah, but Dallas is famous."
Me~  "We'd rather you know Dallas because of the Dallas Cowboys."
GK~  "The Dallas who?" 
Me~  "American football."
GK~  "......."
*Then the others laughed.*

After that, AW, AS left.  GK had to leave as well.  He turned to me and said....

"Today, you my English Teacher."  He then waved and said, "Annyeong-kyeseyo."  "Goodbye," I replied.