Ms. Parker in Korea!

This next post was not written by me.  It was written by a teacher who lived near Seoul for 3 years.  I found this post of hers by accident and laughed myself silly.  The stuff in bold that I highlight are things that we ourselves have noticed or experienced already.  This was written as an end to her blog as she has since left Korea.   Enjoy the nice read.........

"Goodbye Korea. Goodbye ajummas and ajosshis. Goodbye girls who wear shorts in winter. Goodbye kimbap, kimchi, ramyun, chapjae, veggie mandu. Goodbye weird brand names that I won't see elsewhere (Ask Enquired?). Goodbye random children saying hello. Goodbye scooters that pass you on the sidewalk. Goodbye tiled rooftops. Goodbye wall of ass. Goodbye bent over halmonis with silver teeth. Goodbye taxi drivers that smell like ginseng. Goodbye hangeul. Goodbye Yudal. Goodbye Kimbap Nara. Goodbye Dak galbi. Goodbye soju. Goodbye chunners and man won. Goodbye the feeling of understanding or being understood. Goodbye Samsung and Hyundae everything. Goodbye small white or black cars (and rarely blue or yellow ones). Goodbye Konglish. Goodbye circular logic. Goodbye temples. Goodbye big bronze bells. Goodbye colourfully painted pagodas. Goodbye neon lights. Goodbye norae bangs. Goodbye boybands. Goodbye random gifts and service-eu. Goodbye newbies and lifers. Goodbye giving directions to people using a million different landmarks. Goodbye miming in the post office to buy stamps. Goodbye my awesome cellphone. Goodbye PC bangs. Goodbye skinny cigarettes. Goodbye spitting on sidewalks and being pushed out of the way. Goodbye recycling everywhere, even in McDonald's. Goodbye Mokpo and Suncheon and Gwangju. Goodbye Yeosu and Wando and Seoul. Goodbye Gyeongju and Jinju and Busan. Goodbye mountains like Jirisan and Wolchulsan. Goodbye quiet beaches (outside of beach season). Goodbye self-camming in public. Goodbye cherry blossom season. Goodbye yellow dust. Goodbye barking dogs, and mini-puppies carried as fashion accessories. Goodbye Hello Kitty everywhere. Goodbye cheap and weird socks. Goodbye young guys dressed to the nines. Goodbye technology that is ahead of its time. Goodbye squat toilets. Goodbye heated bidets with blowdryers. Goodbye flower arrangements that are out of this world. Goodbye almost being hit by a car every day. Goodbye cheap buses, in and out of the city. Goodbye the uniformity of appearance. Goodbye stripey scarves and sparkly t-shirts. Goodbye cafeteria food, including tentacle surprise. Goodbye Spam in everything. Goodbye hot goguma on the street. Goodbye fish shaped cookies. Goodbye ddeok. Goodbye metal chopsticks. Goodbye gochujang. Goodbye funny winter hats that look like animal heads. Goodbye Jeju. Goodbye "I don't know, lives in sea". Goodbye "It's Korean tradition". Goodbye annyeong haseyo and kamsahamnida. Goodbye Mr Kim and Mr Lee and Mrs Park and Mrs Oh. Goodbye Hite. Goodbye Homeplus and Emart. Goodbye fishing boats at 5 am and the Jeju ferry boat at 9:30 pm. Goodbye taeguki. Goodbye taekwondo. Goodbye flat-screen satellite TVs everywhere. Goodbye to the noise. Goodbye jimjilbang. Goodbye face masks. Goodbye ridiculous high heels (that I secretly covet). Goodbye mascots on street corners. Goodbye hanuiwan and acupuncture. Goodbye "good for health" and "good for stamina". Goodbye green tea in temple tea shops. Goodbye cranes hunting frogs in rice paddies. Goodbye bongo trucks. Goodbye ddong-chim. Goodbye being told how beautiful you are by strangers. Goodbye cheap eyeglasses. Goodbye to being waygook. Goodbye dabangs and double barber poles. Goodbye to weird Korean comedy programs on TV that involve hitting each other with inflated squeaky hammers. Goodbye "I'mfinethankyouandyou". Goodbye "Whel all you prom?". Goodbye to the crazy old men outside of the train station. Goodbye walking to the head of the line in a bank or post office because you have no idea where else to go. Goodbye lotus ponds. Goodbye amazing fireworks. Goodbye surprises every day. Goodbye quiz nights. Goodbye squeally musical instruments and wavering voices. Goodbye canned keyboard accompaniment. Goodbye French nights. Goodbye world travel. Goodbye Nami, Minsu, Thomas and the rest of the weird kids on the government approved CD-Roms for ESL. Goodbye "Maybe". Goodbye yes as no and no as yes. Goodbye friends from around the world ~ you have become our family."


Ms. Parker in Korea!