Ms. Parker in Korea!

This next post was not written by me.  It was written by a teacher who lived near Seoul for 3 years.  I found this post of hers by accident and laughed myself silly.  The stuff in bold that I highlight are things that we ourselves have noticed or experienced already.  This was written as an end to her blog as she has since left Korea.   Enjoy the nice read.........

"Goodbye Korea. Goodbye ajummas and ajosshis. Goodbye girls who wear shorts in winter. Goodbye kimbap, kimchi, ramyun, chapjae, veggie mandu. Goodbye weird brand names that I won't see elsewhere (Ask Enquired?). Goodbye random children saying hello. Goodbye scooters that pass you on the sidewalk. Goodbye tiled rooftops. Goodbye wall of ass. Goodbye bent over halmonis with silver teeth. Goodbye taxi drivers that smell like ginseng. Goodbye hangeul. Goodbye Yudal. Goodbye Kimbap Nara. Goodbye Dak galbi. Goodbye soju. Goodbye chunners and man won. Goodbye the feeling of understanding or being understood. Goodbye Samsung and Hyundae everything. Goodbye small white or black cars (and rarely blue or yellow ones). Goodbye Konglish. Goodbye circular logic. Goodbye temples. Goodbye big bronze bells. Goodbye colourfully painted pagodas. Goodbye neon lights. Goodbye norae bangs. Goodbye boybands. Goodbye random gifts and service-eu. Goodbye newbies and lifers. Goodbye giving directions to people using a million different landmarks. Goodbye miming in the post office to buy stamps. Goodbye my awesome cellphone. Goodbye PC bangs. Goodbye skinny cigarettes. Goodbye spitting on sidewalks and being pushed out of the way. Goodbye recycling everywhere, even in McDonald's. Goodbye Mokpo and Suncheon and Gwangju. Goodbye Yeosu and Wando and Seoul. Goodbye Gyeongju and Jinju and Busan. Goodbye mountains like Jirisan and Wolchulsan. Goodbye quiet beaches (outside of beach season). Goodbye self-camming in public. Goodbye cherry blossom season. Goodbye yellow dust. Goodbye barking dogs, and mini-puppies carried as fashion accessories. Goodbye Hello Kitty everywhere. Goodbye cheap and weird socks. Goodbye young guys dressed to the nines. Goodbye technology that is ahead of its time. Goodbye squat toilets. Goodbye heated bidets with blowdryers. Goodbye flower arrangements that are out of this world. Goodbye almost being hit by a car every day. Goodbye cheap buses, in and out of the city. Goodbye the uniformity of appearance. Goodbye stripey scarves and sparkly t-shirts. Goodbye cafeteria food, including tentacle surprise. Goodbye Spam in everything. Goodbye hot goguma on the street. Goodbye fish shaped cookies. Goodbye ddeok. Goodbye metal chopsticks. Goodbye gochujang. Goodbye funny winter hats that look like animal heads. Goodbye Jeju. Goodbye "I don't know, lives in sea". Goodbye "It's Korean tradition". Goodbye annyeong haseyo and kamsahamnida. Goodbye Mr Kim and Mr Lee and Mrs Park and Mrs Oh. Goodbye Hite. Goodbye Homeplus and Emart. Goodbye fishing boats at 5 am and the Jeju ferry boat at 9:30 pm. Goodbye taeguki. Goodbye taekwondo. Goodbye flat-screen satellite TVs everywhere. Goodbye to the noise. Goodbye jimjilbang. Goodbye face masks. Goodbye ridiculous high heels (that I secretly covet). Goodbye mascots on street corners. Goodbye hanuiwan and acupuncture. Goodbye "good for health" and "good for stamina". Goodbye green tea in temple tea shops. Goodbye cranes hunting frogs in rice paddies. Goodbye bongo trucks. Goodbye ddong-chim. Goodbye being told how beautiful you are by strangers. Goodbye cheap eyeglasses. Goodbye to being waygook. Goodbye dabangs and double barber poles. Goodbye to weird Korean comedy programs on TV that involve hitting each other with inflated squeaky hammers. Goodbye "I'mfinethankyouandyou". Goodbye "Whel all you prom?". Goodbye to the crazy old men outside of the train station. Goodbye walking to the head of the line in a bank or post office because you have no idea where else to go. Goodbye lotus ponds. Goodbye amazing fireworks. Goodbye surprises every day. Goodbye quiz nights. Goodbye squeally musical instruments and wavering voices. Goodbye canned keyboard accompaniment. Goodbye French nights. Goodbye world travel. Goodbye Nami, Minsu, Thomas and the rest of the weird kids on the government approved CD-Roms for ESL. Goodbye "Maybe". Goodbye yes as no and no as yes. Goodbye friends from around the world ~ you have become our family."


Ms. Parker in Korea!

Not Just Tofu.....

It's lunchtime.  We're hungry.  We decided to go to the Alaskan Mining Company ( a restaurant on post with an all-you-can-eat buffet.)  We get there at 11:30am.  It's an early lunch but it's still lunchtime, none-the-less.  We sit down and discover they are still serving BREAKFAST!  What the.....???  Not in any mood to eat bacon and eggs, we decide to leave. 

It's already hot outside and we're standing outside bickering over what we want to eat, since the AMC was a bust.  Since the KATUSA Snack Bar is walking distance right down the road, we head off. 

You see Koreans don't have a "set" list of items on what is considered breakfast.  What they eat for breakfast, can be eaten for lunch and dinner also.

We get inside and there is only a couple of customers, so ordering and finding a place to sit wasn't hard to come by.  We go to the counter to place our order.  Eric and Bobby order the spicy pork, Lauren gets the ramyun (ramen to the Japanese and Americans), Matthew always gets the yaki mandu, and I go for something different....the Sundubu Chigae (bean curd stew).

I want to try as many different varieties of Korean food.  Everything that I have tried has never been a failure.  Many people think all Koreans just eat dog (gaekogi).  They primarily eat all forms of vegetation and fish.  Sogogi (cow meat) is a treat to most Koreans.  But anyway.......

The Sundubu Chigae.  Was totally awesome!  Out of 5, I give it a 4.  This stew was especially hot (spicy + temperature).  Took me forever to eat it.  I savored every last drop. 

Lauren's ramyun.  We asked for it without the cheese but it came anyway.  She wasn't all that happy so she primarily ate the rice.

I forgot to add one of the side dishes that Eric and Bobby received was a type of bean sprout soup (kongnamul gook).  I didn't think I would like it but it was so nice and refreshing.  And I hear it's great for hangovers.  Very, very low in calorie and satisfying.  I've decided to make my own and give it a go.  The ingredients seemed simple enough. 

Kongnamul Gook.  It's awesomely delicious!

I know y'all are all thinking "bean sprouts?"

Land of Free, Home of the Brave and then there's the Idiots!

Two complaints after living here and not a one is against a Korean or the Korean government.  Oh, no!  It's with the stupid Americans.

Let me start with rant Numero Uno......

I just got done dropping off Lauren at Pre-K.  I walked over a mile from the center to the PX.  Why not ride the bus?  I had to get some kind of exercise in.....(misses treadmill).  Of course, I have to off set the morning walk with a venti sized Frappaccino from Starbucks.  God love them!  I go outside after buying my Espresso Chip Frappaccino and sit at the outside cafe.  I'm relaxing waiting for the next bus to come since I would need that to take me to the walkout gate.  So I'm sitting there and I over hear a conversation.  No, I wasn't eavesdropping...the girl was practically raving into the phone.  She moaned and groaned and yelled that she hadn't had a haircut in 5 months and that the PX was charging $21.  She wasn't going to pay that for a haircut.  I practically choked on my Frap when I realized that was her beef.  What?  Oh, dear!  It's $21!!!  Puh-leassssse!  If she was just getting her bangs cut....then fine.  But a haircut for hair that hadn't been cut in 5 months?!!!!  Golly gee wiz!!!  First of all, we are NOT in the States and no where near a Walmart, if that was the problem.  Did she really expect a haircut for less than $20?  An adult cut at Walmart, the last I remember, was $16.  Holy Mary Mother of God!  So she kept this raving mad lunatic gripe over the phone for the whole time I sucked down my venti sized Frap.  And no less to her husband, who was obviously at work.  Seriously, I was more peeved that she called her husband to have a hissy fit over a haircut. And I, seriously, couldn't understand her complaint.  The hair salon hear at Humphreys is an all service salon (nails, massage, waxing,....)  And to top it off, three cute Korean males to do it for her.  Was this absolutely necessary?  I wanted to pull rank on her and give her a "what for."  Stupid woman.....

Okay.....that rant is done......

On to the other, Numero Dos......

Today, as I was riding the bus to pick Lauren up from Pre-K (funny how it always happens when it has something to do with Lauren), we stopped to pick up a large amount of soldiers.  Since this was around noon, they were obviously on their way to mess hall or to the PX for lunch.  I'm sitting there minding my own business.  The soldiers were a little loud and boisterous.  Understandable...it's lunch time which is also break time.  As we go on our way, we are also picking up Korean soldiers (KATUSA's -Korean Augmentation Training w/the US Army-these soldiers also wear the American uniform).  After about 10 minutes on the bus, the American soldiers started getting loud again.  But this time, the talking was unnerving and totally racial.  My hairs stood on end.  I couldn't believe they talked the crap they did with the KATUSA's on board.  I, at that moment, wished I could bury my head in the sand.  Seriously, how would anybody feel if some foreigner kept spouting bull about how their country was stupid and so behind.  Seriously, the Park Jaebeom fiasco went round in my head.  I'm not even quoting exactly what they said because it was some seriously harsh stuff.  And most of you have to understand, those KATUSA's understand English.  It's a requirement for them to.  How they could listen to that crap and not go postal, I don't know.  At that moment in time, I understood why so many countries hated the United States of America to be in their country.  No respect or tolerance.  No couth.  No maturity and brains.  They were a slap in the face to all Americans!  Stupid soldiers.....

Now, I feel so much better.......

Do I Really Have To Take Off My Shoes?

The other day, Bobby's friend came over with his wife.  Our first house guests in our home.  Bobby had questions about certain things about the house....mostly Korean do's and don'ts.  That was the primary reason he asked them over.  Why would he ask his friend and wife to come over?  They have been to Korea before.  Three years ago, I was informed.  But not just that....they are Korean.  Korean-American, that is.  Well, from what I gather, his wife was born Korean but moved to the States.  Not sure about Mr. Ahn (Bobby's friend.)

While Bobby and Mr. Ahn talked, his wife and I talked on the couch.  Found out she taught Korean at Ft. Hood.  Taught Korean?  I had no clue that Korean was offered at Ft. Hood.  She said she had flyers posted at O Mart.  But then, most of the flyers at O Mart were in Hangeul (Korean alphabet), so I usually just ignored them.  That is what I get for not paying attention.

Mr.  Ahn's wife's name is Ji Ni (sounds sort of like Jenny).  She translated some things in our house (the washing machine, AC, the heater controls on the wall, and even helped us change the lock code on our front door (we don't have a key...but a 4 digit pin to get in and out of the house).

We then talked about Korean customs.  Well, it's not just Korean but mainly Korean as the Chinese and Japanese do some of the same things, as well.  My curiosity got the better of me and I asked her..."Why do Asians take off their shoes at the door before walking into the house?"  Her answer:  "There is a belief that if you walk into a house with your shoes on, you bring in the bad spirits into the home.  They believe if you do, the family will get bad "voodoo" and will eventually become sick."  She then explained in simpler terms for any American can understand.  "It's like this.  When we go outside, we walk to many places and we don't know what we stepped into or on.  You come home and walk in the house and then have spread those awful germs into your home.  It's the same thing.  If you bring in some kind of bad germ, your family can become sick."  This also explains why the Asian community are keen on cleanliness.  They have a habitual habit of washing their hands, feet, brushing their teeth, and some are keen on keeping their faces clean.  God forbid the bad spirit of face washing comes to your house and spreads acne.

She explained that when she visited her family (who still live here in Korea), she forgot to take off her shoes before coming in.  She picked up our bad American habit.  Her "halmoni" (grandmother) went ballistic.  She was immediately reprimanded and then was told to clean all the floors....by hand.  They rarely use mops.  Most of the dusting and washing of the floors is by hand.

And because Koreans are learned in respecting their elders, she immediately did what she was told without a word.  The elder is always right.  You are not allowed to "back-talk".  If you do so, expect a beating.

Thankfully, my kids already have a habit of taking their shoes off before walking into a house.  It drove me crazy when they would walk on the carpet with their nasty shoes.  We don't have carpet here...but they still will immediately take off their shoes.