A Circle of Friends.

It has been 2 years since I last saw her. She and her family had just moved back from Germany to Ft. Campbell. Before her initial trip to Germany, we lived side-by-side on post then were neighbors in the same neighborhood. We were two peas in a pod. Only difference was I was a 245 pea and she was a 94 pound pea. I was 10 years her senior. And, her son, was born 2 days before Matthew. The day she came out of the hospital was the day I went in. But none of that made a difference. We connected on horrible circumstances. She protected me from myself. She was my rock, my tree, my solid to lean on when I felt the world crumbling all around me.

I won't go into all the details. First, it's terribly embarrassing and it's a bone in my closet that will stay in the closet. Second, it's a memory that I just don't have the heart to delve back into.

She believed in me. IN ME! She trusted me and never thought the worst of me. And eventually others around our cul-de-sac came around and became my shields. They all became my friends other than my neighbors. It was then that I realized that these women, military wives, stuck to me like glue. The funny thing out of the whole business of it all was that we were all born in August around the same time. I, on the 4th. The others.....13th, 14th, 15th, and the 16th. We had some wild birthday parties. LOL! We were all Leo's. You'd think there would have been cat fights because of the Leo persona. We would have all wanted the attention and leadership. Maybe one out of us was in the end....but nobody cared.

We were the Patio Ho's. LOL! Yeah, that's what we called ourselves. We would all eventually be sitting outside on our porches/patios talking/smoking/drinking and goofing off. I'll admit that was when my addiction to Pepsi came about. And sitting on my plastic lawn chair widened certain body parts that shouldn't have widened anymore in the first place.

That was when for the first time in my miserable life I had true blue girlfriends. I can't keep girlfriends. It's hard. It's easier for me to be friends with guys than gals. I don't like talking on the phone. But then, the phone wasn't such a bad thing. I'm not a girly girl. I like girly things but don't base my life on them. I don't like to wear make-up. I'd like to but I think I'm allergic to something in the chemical aspect because I break out so bad that I'd rather not wear the toxic stuff. But at that time, I had not just one girlfriend.....I had Tanya, Stacie, Debbie, and Alison.

Alison, was the model. Tall, blonde, and built like a model. She was the girly girl. She shopped the specialty, high-dollar department stores where we shopped WalMart. And, not only was she a military wife, she was a soldier too. Tanya, the small and skinny. She was the lucky one, at the tme so I thought. She has hyperthyroidism. She can't gain weight. She is the tough talker, no-holds-bar, and don't piss her off type. She was my fellow Texan, raised in Killeen. She was my bestest friend of them all. Stacie, the oldest. She was 10-years my senior but acted like she was 29. LOL! She was tough on the outside but had that mushy, sweet, caramelly center. A heart of gold. And, last but not least, Debbie. She was all mush. Never said a bad word. Never raised her voice. Left her heart on the outside to be easily broken. Was always helping out when she needed the help most. She could stretch a dollar for daaaaays.

Well, our circle eventually broke. Stacie and her husband got divorced and she moved back to Michigan. Debbie's husband got out of the army and they moved back to Wisconsin and are now divorced. Alison, yet again, got pregnant, out of the Army and divorced also. All of them are remarried. Tanya, is still married to her husband. She is the one just back from Germany and living back at Ft. Campbell.

The sad thing of it all is that once Tanya came back, I had changed. I was no longer 245 lbs of "flubber." I don't drink Pepsi like water anymore. I don't drink anything soda-ish unless it's diet. I don't sit and gossip and eat food for comfort. (Okay, maybe I still do, but not on a daily basis.) And, food no longer is my drowning pool. It was easy to be fat around Tanya. She could out eat me! So she was always around food and heck I never turned down a free cupcake! But I was different when she came home. I didn't want to sit and eat. Time had changed us big time. I was no longer the fat friend to the skinny friend, ya know? I don't do 3/4 of what I used to. And she knew. She even said I turned into a skinny bore. Oh, she said it jokingly but I took it as it was said. Maybe I had. No feelings were hurt.

So time had changed us. I wasn't the same. I no longer depended on her. We were still friendly when I left for Ft. Hood but we haven't spoken since. Probably best. I still have the wonderful memories with me and those will never change.