Last day of March......

Today's run:
40 minutes, 7.3mph-8.0mph=5.13 miles
30 minues, 4.0mph-5.0mph, inclines ranging from 6-12=2.4 miles

TGIF! Yea! Now on to bigger and better things. I'm feeling so good for the moment. Maybe it's the leftover adrenaline rush, caffeine high, it's Friday, pizza night.....or a combination of all those things. It's just a good day. The birds are singing (literally), a nice breeze coming through the windows, a happy, squealy baby, and I predict a sunshiny day. NICE!

What is my agenda today? I have no clue. Not one. I wish it was warm enough to go lay out. I'm so ready for a "natural" tan. LOL! THAT...would be a perfect day!

Friends in different places....

I'm thankful for my friends. So many that I have acquired in the past 15 years...but there are a few I want to "shout out" to. You see I have 2 very special friends that aren't military, that aren't Americans, heck...I've never met face-to-face. They are my pen pals that have stuck to me for the past few years. I know them through emails and pictures and have been so lucky to receive special cards and gifts in the mail. They are special and very dear to me.

I have a special picture of Nicky (who is going to kill me! LOL!) and her son Ben. They are from the great country of England! The land of kings and queens, where King Arthur once ruled (??), Stonehenge was created, and the Romans once ruled. Ahhh! Duran Duran are from there.....LOL!....(my inner teenager just came out...LOL!) One day my behind will get there.....someday.

She is one great Mum and is a "childminder" (has a daycare in her home). I don't know how she does it. I'd have beaten my head against the wall with so many children in my home. LOL! My own children drive me insane! LOL!

And this here is my dear friend Shahnam. So pretty is she. Once lived in London for a few months because her husband went to University there. She is my Iranian friend. Yes, she is from Iran! But the most sweetest of people I have met. She has blown away (not literally people!) my naivete of the Muslim religion. Did you know Jesus is mentioned in the Koran? They believe he existed but was not the Messiah. Or so I am told.

Christians have extremists....so does the Islam faith. If the people of Iraq, Iran, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, and others could just live here for a year and we, vice versa over there, maybe we could all understand the other and get along. Can't we all just get along?? Nobody is better than the other..............NOBODY!

But back to the topic at hand. FRIENDS! They are great to have, so cherish every one!

More friends to come.................

Comments??

Got some? Well, I think I fixed it so those of you who aren't "registered" blogspotters can leave your valuable and/or invaluable comments. LOL! I'm still learning the tricks of the trade on here, so bear with me....please!!

Comment away.

Dangerous grapefruit!!

BEWARE!

I have already been stung by one. They can be painful little boogers, I tell ya! When peeling them, don't rub your eye!!!!

ANTS!

I'm going to lose my freaking mind! They are everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE! We have indoor ant spray and I'm going to have to go and buy more. I can't stand it. They are mainly in my living room around the windows which leads them to my loveseat sofa and in our kitchen/dining room windows.

Now imagine, sitting on the loveseat, you have your laptop on your lap and you are typing away. Then all at once, you feel something crawling on your neck. You slap yourself and find an ant. Then again, you feel "something" on your leg. Smack! Another ant! Again, on the arm, on the back, on the neck, on the leg...over and over. Now this isn't all at once but at different times. I'm going crazy. I look around the windows....there aren't any trails. I look on the walls, around the baseboards, and on the carpet. Where are they coming from? I don't know but I'm too the point that we might "fog" the house. I can't stand it anymore. I'll just put the cats in Heidi's old crate outside while we do this.

Ants be GONE, I say! Be gone from my house, you evil pests. BE GONE!!!

No news, I guess, is good news.

Yep, new news to report. Pretty boring, as usual. My main agenda today...grocery shopping. Oh joy.

Today, I ran/jogged for 60 minutes with a 2 minute 3mph cool down. Today's running total: 6.46 miles

Minutes and Miles...............

I think that I'll be adding my running times and distance to some of my posts. Maybe even calories burned and eaten. I don't know yet. But I do know that since having Lauren, I don't run as long or as often as I used to. Not that I'm lazy but Lauren gets up earlier now and I like to run in the morning when all is quiet and it's slightly dark. It's easier for me to focus. The only light I should see is the console light on the treadmill and the light from the TV that is in front of me. The only noise I should hear is the "whir" of the treadmill belt and the news on that is in front of me. Everything else should be a blur as I run and I focus on the run at hand. There have been times when I get so "high" that I could run forever but I haven't had that in a long time. I would like to have that back.....someday!

Now I'm just lucky to get 40 minutes and 5 miles instead of 80 minutes and 10 miles................

Mama's Munchkin!

OMG! I can't wait till I get Lauren's pictures back from Sears! They are the best freaking pictures EVER! I mean EVER! She did brilliantly. Even the photographer was "oohing and aahing" at all the awesome photos my little miss "photogenic" was producing. I always thought Matthew and Eric were photogenic when they were babies but boy was I wrong!! Don't get me wrong...my boys were so adorable and cute...but my baby is ready for PAGEANTS! Okay, no I'm not going to do that. I couldn't do that to my baby but I just can't stop gushing about these pictures. I can't wait. I think I'll be able to upload some from the Sears site once they come up in 2 days. Woo-hoo! Oh...and I spent a lot of moolah on pics. Yeah, yeah...but they were worth it. And she'll only be 6 months old ONCE!

Good Mommy!

On a good note, with the exception of my bad den mother habits, I took Lauren to her 6 month Well-Baby check-up! My baby is getting so big!! She was 26 inches long, 15.65 lbs, and her head measured 16.81. It was strange that for the first time I have a child that is following the 50% curve. She is average and has followed that curve pretty much from day 1! Both the boys were always 75% or more........

Lauren got her shots today too. One in each leg this time. And we found out that she is getting baby excema. Great! Just great! Now both her and Matthew have that awful skin condition. I need to throw out her Johnson and Johnson Lavender lotion and baby wash. Since we changed to that, her skin has gotten rough and bumpy. She might be allergic to it. Soooooooo......I have to use the Baby Aveeno stuff the doc recommended. And! I have to start using Eucerin lotion. She wanted to use Aquafor on her but that stuff is gross and greasy. Matthew has to use it and it takes about all of us to hold him down to put it on. I don't blame him....it takes a good 4-5 handwashings to get that crap off my hands. UGH!

I'm getting off the subject at hand here. Lauren was such a good girl. She smiled, laughed, cooed, and bounced her way into Dr. Florer's heart. LOL! Until.....she laid her on her back and Lauren went nuts! She hates lying on her back. She then became a "banshee". Until....she rolled her over and she was back to her "good-girl" routine. LOL!

Bad Mommy!

I feel like such a HEEL! Eric's Webelo den leader is probably going to shove me into a speeding car soon. I need to get off my lazy butt and get Eric's badges and things marked in his book and turned in! Eric is the only one who hasn't earned a thing for his Emblem of Light badge. And the ceremony is NEXT WEEK! UGH! And he's earned so many badges and I haven't even marked them in his book and turned it in. So I just spent the last hour going over and over and over his book to make sure he has everything marked and dated. Nothing left out. He has earned 15 badges!!! A Compass Emblem and 2 arrow points.....and his Emblem of Light badge minus a campout with the boys scouts!! So next week, I have to contact a boy scout troop and practically beg one to let Eric camp out with them. UGH! Bad, bad, bad Mommy!!! He could have had these things a long time ago. Been too busy to care or scratch my a$$!

Change. Change. Change

There is a change in the air.

First, I can smell it in the air. Spring is here. Saturday, Bobby mowed the lawn and the boys vacuumed the truck out. I feel the need to Spring clean. I look around my house and I start making a list in my head of what stuff is "outta here!"

Second, Heidi is gone. Yeah, I'm talking about her again. I love her. Now, we have to figure out how to go about our day without her. She was my companion during the day. Now I'm lonesome without her. So we are talking of getting that "new" dog. It WILL BE another GSD. So, I go about my day looking in online classifieds for German Shepherd puppies, preferably female. And in every ad, I look at these puppies, and their parents, and I look for Heidi in their faces. Then I cry. I don't see her in any of them. Sure, some of them look exactly like her. There are other black Shepherds out there. But I always find something just not "right". The cock of the head, the position of the ears, the look in the eyes....I don't see her. I cry some more. Why do I look for Heidi when I know I won't find her? She was an original. Can't be replaced.

Third, my weight loss has stalled immensely. In fact, I've gained. I won't lie. Yes, a long-distance runner can gain weight. It's called over-indulging in mass quantities. I'm a compulsive eater. I love food. I've got to stop the INSANITY! I sound like Susan Powter. But she was right. I eat right Monday-Friday afternoon, then Friday evening my eating goes to the toilet. Friday night-Sunday (most of the weekend anyway), we eat out. I love buffets. I love the idea of eating for my money. I'm a plate finisher. I get appalled of the thought of leaving food behind on my plate. That habit needs to be remedied.....immediately. So now I must start making plans for change.......

Change......it's nature. We all must make changes for change. Change...got any??

Guilt!

I have lots of that. I can't stop thinking of our last moments with Heidi. I should have stayed. I should have held her till her last breath. But I couldn't. Does that make me a bad "mama"? Those sad eyes pleading.......

I couldn't. I'm a coward.

Now we talk of getting another dog. I do. I don't. I do. I don't. It's easy to see such cute, pretty little puppy faces. Anybody would want one. Should I? Shouldn't I?

I can't. I'm a coward.

God, I beg of you, please! I ask that you give me peace.

God? Is Heidi okay? I miss her so.

A replacement?

To and from our way to Cici's Pizza, we discussed more about Heidi. How she was a great watchdog. We joked about how she worked for her room and board while the cats just suck us dry. Watch cats? Don't think so. They would just ignore an intruder if one should happen to break into our house. They'd probably show them to the most expensive stuff in the house. LOL! All they do is sleep, eat, poop, pee, and barf up hairballs. Where is the proof they do anything in the house? Maybe in the winter they make great foot warmers........

We talked about protection. Heidi was great. She barked if someone was at the door before they knocked. She would "perk her ears up" when she heard a strange vehicle in our drive. She would roam the house at night and "watch" through the windows. Heck, she even made sure the cats weren't "naughty". She would "herd" them to our room if they misbehaved. LOL! Bobby loved that!

Now we talk of getting another German Shepherd puppy. I would love to have another. We talked of getting another before Heidi....well, you know. We still want another. But is it too soon? Will Heidi be upset with us? I don't want to tarnish her memory. I'm so confused. I told Bobby we should wait till we know for sure if we are moving or not. (Military. Long story.) But he doesn't want to wait. Protection. We need protection. No worries. And do I want to start all over again. Puppy breath, puppy poop and pee. And then, to deal with training a toddler and training a puppy. Oh, gosh and to death with a teething toddler and a teething puppy. Which is worse?

Bobby says we are not replacing Heidi. We never could. She was an original. It would be hard to find a dog who was that loving and all out kind to people and our family. I think if we get a GSD, it will not be black. I think I want a traditional looking one. The ones with the black saddle backs. Heidi was all black with tan from her paws to her ankles. And her undercoat was white. No. No black GSD's. I don't want another one that looked like Heidi. I couldn't handle that. Bobby wants another black GSD. (Once you go black, you can't turn back. LOL!)

Sorry, Bobby.

Happy Birthday!

It's someone's BIRTHDAY! Happy 31st to my sister KIM!

(By the way, that is Lauren she is holding...1 day old.)

Memories.

Last night, before Bobby and I went to bed, we talked. We remembered.

I lay in bed sniffling and remembering something about Heidi and I start crying again. Bobby gets in bed, lies next to me and puts his arm around me, and pulls me close.

I can't remember all we talked about. It's all a blur. It's so surreal.

Bobby does tell me now that he doesn't feel safe in the house without Heidi. Never realized how we depended on her. Oh, she wouldn't hurt a fly but an intruder wouldn't know that. How would you feel breaking into a house and a big, black German Shepherd was in your face? Well, Bobby says she might have literally killed someone. We don't know how she would have reacted to a stranger in the house....she was never tested and never will be. We just know that she loved children, loved people's attention, loved to play, and loved to go on car rides.

"I remember when Heidi.................."

Not the same.....

I got up earlier than usual...3:48am exact. No cold nose in my face. No thumping tail. No whining to go outside. No scratching of claws as she happily scampered on the linoleum in the kitchen to the back door. Eerily quiet. No barking outside to alert us of a tresspassing stray cat or unknown person walking on the street. It's going to be a long day.........

Heidi!

Not a good day like I thought. Heidi is miserable. It's getting worse. She can't walk from room to room. She stumbles like she is drunk and then sits and then tries again. When Bobby came home for lunch, she was right by the door. She couldn't jump out the way fast enough and got smacked in the side. Bobby felt so badly. And, of course, she was excited to see him but that happy go lucky dog is not there anymore. I'm so miserable. I've been crying pretty much most of the day. I called the vet and they said I could pick up more of her Rimadyl and they might increase dosage Saturday (that's when I take her in for her re-check). I know it's colder than normal these past 2 days....I wonder?

Bobby can't handle looking at her either.

Eventually she is going to need to go outside to "potty". I might have to go out with her just so I can help her back up the backdoor stairs. SHE IS ONLY 5 YEARS OLD! This just can't be happening yet. She still has at LEAST 5-7 more years to go. I'm so scared when I take her in Saturday they will tell me it's gotten worse. I don't know how I can handle putting "her down". I just can't. Those beautiful, big amber eyes that look at me with no hate...but unconditional love. I just can't do it. I love her so much. I just hope the Rimadyl works....it's just so bad today. I've never seen it this bad since we first noticed it. I'm just sick, sick, sick with worry...........
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I'm sitting here in tears. I can't stop crying. Today, I gave the vet permission to put Heidi "to sleep". Around 2pm, she was unable to use her hind legs. I panicked and rushed her to the vet. An hour later I got the call to come in. I knew something was wrong. If it wasn't bad they would have told me over the phone. I used to work at a vet clinic, I know the "way". I called Bobby and he met me at the clinic. News wasn't good. She had degenerative bone disease of some sort and it was progressively getting worse up her spine. No treatment. They don't normally see it until they are of "age". Like I said, she was only 5 years old. So we knew. So we went back to our "room" and cried. I was shocked to see tears in Bobby's eyes. Just as well. We were sick of watching her be miserable. Just sick. We told the vet, and then we went to a private room to say our "last good-byes". My heart wrenched. My heart beat outside my chest. She cried for help. She couldn't jump on us or lick us like she used to. We knew. I think she knew. So I sit here bereaved with guilt knowing "I" was the one who put her to her death. But "I" know that it was best. There was no other choice. No surgery could fix it.

Today my best friend died today. And I will forever miss my Heidi. I love you!

Long, lost friends.......

Being a military wife....we have lots of those. Long, lost friends. Last night, a friend of Bobby's from the 'hood called. Not Ft. Hood. The old neighborhood, pre-army life. He was checking in. We hadn't heard from him in a few months. That is normal. He has a life, children, and a wife. He lives in Oklahoma and works at an airport. His life is good. He is one of our good friends. Before I married Bobby, his family cat had kittens. I got one of them and still have him today. Smokey is his name and he's 14 years old this year.

Well, Jeff (that's Bobby's friend's name) went on to tell us that another long, lost friend has made contact. Karl. Bobby's best friend. Bobby's best man. We don't know how it happened but we lost touch. Last we heard, he was living in Texarkana, AR (not the Texas side)...he divorced his wife and his 2 girls were living with him...then he later got remarried (who we haven't met yet). Then from that point....he vanished. We called all we knew but couldn't find him. He even stopped calling Jeff and Jeff didn't know how to find him either. Long story. Well, he finally called Jeff. He didn't know how to reach us because we moved to Texas and the last time we spoke to him we were living in Tennessee. So, Bobby called him. Karl. Jeff gave us the contact number. Let's just say a lot of reminiscing and conversation went on. I went to bed after watching LOST and Bobby was still on the phone. I have no clue how long they talked. But Bobby is giddy happy. He has his best friend back. Old times are here again. Life is good. Friends aren't lost anymore.......................

Roly-Poly-Olie

She rolls, she scoots, she goes backwards......but does not crawl. She can get from here to there in less than 5 minutes. The days are ticking away....the time is coming....then she will crawl. But for now, I watch her as she figures out how that darn toy got way "over" there and must roll along to get it.

'Bout time!

This past Fall, the boys had school pictures taken. Eric brought home an order form...Matt didn't. I didn't order because they didn't bring home "proofs." Who orders without proofs? I thought the order forms were examples they sent home. So I didn't order. I patiently waited for the "proofs." They never came and I forgot about the pictures until the day the boys came home and said they didn't get pictures back. What?? So I call the school. I spoke to someone who asked me, "Didn't you get the order form?" Well, yeah, I did. How was I suppose to know I was to order my sons pictures blindly? I was so p***ed off. The lady took kindly on me, I guess, and gave me the photographers phone number and I called them up and requested pictures. Yeah, I paid an arm and leg for reprints. Well, that was in January. It's March....almost the end of March and I finally got those. I do have to say the photographers here in Texas take the time to get the pictures right in their school photos. In Tennessee, my kids looked like the hillbillies that state made them out to be. Oh, the pictures were atrocious. Why I paid for them, I don't know. I guess I didn't want to miss "that school moment". Just like why I paid an ungodly amount of money for reprints here. But, hey! My kids don't look like hillbillies. LOL!

Now I wait for their spring pictures..................those I paid for on time.

Another day in the life......

Have you ever wondered what a celebrity does every day? What's their schedule? What brand toothepaste do they use? Do they cook their own meals? What do they eat? Does Martha Stewart once in awhile eat McDonald's? Do they poop like us? (I know they do, it's just hard to conceive an image of Angelina Jolie on the "throne", ya know?) I guess my main concern is.....once they become famous, do they do things for real? Or is everything they do pampered? Many say their lives haven't changed. Really? The only celebrity who seems FOR REAL is Rosie O'Donnell. Hmm? This is just some of the things I think about...................

A day in my life................

Every morning, around 4am, my day starts. The alarm goes off, I get up, stumble to the bathroom, relieve myself, weigh myself, congratulate or curse myself (depending on what the scale god says), walk to the kitchen, scoop out coffee into the maker, fill the water resevoir, turn on the coffeemaker, walk to the back of the house, let Heidi (my beautiful German Shepherd dog) out to potty, walk back to the kitchen counter, take my vitamins, walk back to my room, get out my running clothes, get those on, brush my hair and put it into a ponytail, then fumble around in the dark (husband is usually still in bed and takes about a couple of "Bobby get up!" before I start poking him out of bed) for my NIKE Shox and then put those on. I then walk back into the kitchen, get out my revered coffee cup and put (always) 2 sweet-n-lows, 2 tsp of coffeemate creamer, and then my coffee and then stir. Then I grab the breastpump and adequate size bottle (depending on how big my boobs got overnight) and start the process of milking myself. I then take my revered coffee and walk into the living room where my beloved laptop sits on the living room table and open it. I then start my morning ritual of checking my online bank, the Forum, the many blogs of other friends, check the news, and then email. Then I wonder back to my blog and update....as I am now. And all this with one hand since the other is holding the pump to one of my oversized, overfilled breasts. After doing all this, I talk myself into starting my run for the morning. Will it be a "short" run or "long" run? It all depends on the sleep span of my daughter. Will she wake up at 6:30am, 7am, or 7:30am? That I won't know until I hear her morning babble..........
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9:00am

Lauren woke EARLY! 5:15am in fact. So I had to feed her and hoped she would go back down. But she had none of that. So I put new batteries in her swing, put her in, then got myself ready for my 10.05 mile run. Yes, it was slightly over 10 miles...in 80 minutes exactly, with one pit stop to the bathroom. But back to her....I can't believe she got up that early. These weekend jaunts to Bobby's parent's house screwed with her sleep schedule. She is now down for a morning nap since she got up so early.

Matthew is feeling much better. He actually scarfed down 2 bowls of Peanut Butter Toast Crunch. He was starving....kid kept nothing down yesterday.

Eric had not a good day yesterday either...at school that is. He came home upset because some girl in his home room class told him that he wasn't chosen for choir. What??? I paid for his choir t-shirt and his registration to be in it. Oh, he was in choir!! Called the school to find out what was going on. Evidently, the little snit thought she knew everything and told Eric wrong information. There are two choir groups and Eric is in the second group. He was CHOSEN! So he missed his first choir rehearsal but will definitely be there on Wednesday afternoon.

Today's agenda: take back HEB baby food to store (found out it was recalled for shards of glass in it....), get new movies (today is new movie Tuesday), and must buy more apples (an apple a day keeps the doc away....well, I atleast eat 4-6 a day....I should live forever! LOL!)
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1:45pm

Hmm? I didn't go to HEB...yet! Tomorrow....maybe. I did go to WalMart. I got my apples, the new movies, and those Eggo waffles shaped like Legos. So I guess they would be called Lego Eggos. Anyway, we drove by the post office and mailed some stupid rebates for the new computers we bought as soon as Bobby got home. I mailed my sister's birthday card (she turns 31). And, of course, Lauren falls asleep but it was a quick cat napand hopefully in the next hour she'll take her second nap. So, as of now, she plays in her
exersaucer.

Another one bites the dust..........

Well, not just me...but now my 8 year old son, Matthew, is sick. He has it worse than me though! He has been throwing up all morning long. It's starting to gross me out. I guess we officially got some stupid stomach "BUG". So I didn't run this morning and the guilt is eating me alive. I just couldn't seem to get out of bed. Lauren woke at 3am (it's going to take forever to get her back on her schedule) and after putting her back down it was about time for me to get up and get ready for my run. The alarm went off and I just couldn't get out of bed. So I set the alarm for 30 minutes later...but yet again I couldn't get up. I didn't even hear Bobby leave this morning for PT. My 11 year old son, Eric, came in around 6am to let me know he was awake. I finally drag my butt out of bed and there is Matthew in the bathroom "worshipping the porcelain god." Just not a good start for the day. I don't feel as bad as yesterday but I'm a little light headed. Hopefully tomorrow will be better........

Just sick!

It's 5:53am, the bottom of the computer says. I feel like poo! I woke up 2 hours ago to feed Lauren and felt the same way. I know why. I've eaten so terribly and I've made my body go into a "radioactive" shock. My body doesn't know how to rid itself of this "mess". So I think it's ready to just give up and send me to the "porcelain God". Today is my last day here at the in-laws and I'm ready to detox. Go "au natural" again. No more prepackaged, heavily laden, sugary, overly sized portion death. I can't wait to eat my BOCA burgers, apples with cinnamon, salads with FF everything, and/or SF everything.

I think, in general, I just want to go HOME! Yes-sir-ee!

So tired.......

Last night, we got home around 9pm from a wedding. It was beautiful. It was long.

My poor Lauren didn't take to it too well. Oh, she was trooper throughout the wedding but never took a nap. Oh, little "cat" naps here and there but not a truly needed one. She IS only 5 months old. So we get home...that is my husband's parent's house. She fell asleep in the truck after screaming halfway back to the house. Then I had to wake her up to put her in her pj's and out of her frilly dress. The screaming was turned back on. It was an awful scream. It was so pitiful. I finally calmed her down and put her to sleep. So I thought. I didn't hear her because I was down stairs but Bobby did when he went up to get on the computer. It was that scream again. She must have not fully fell asleep the first time I laid her down. So he brings her down. I give her some Motrin because I'm not sure if her "teething" had anything to do with it. We go back up and I feed her....the heffer that I am (in a previously mentioned post). She goes to sleep but with that "hiccup" from crying and screaming for so long. My poor baby.

She woke up again at around 5am this morning. I fed her (the heffer way). Now I'm up and ready to start my day. Hopefully the day will be better for her. No more scheduled activities. Might go to my grandparents for the afternoon but we can leave if her situation comes to a climax again.

The in-laws...........

I really, really love my in-laws. They love their son bunches. My MIL is sweet and kind and never really has a bad word to say. My FIL doesn't show his emotions well. But when he does, it is like the sun peeking through the darkest of clouds.

Well, this weekend, we are staying with them. My husband's cousin is getting married today at the Ft. Worth Botanical Gardens this afternoon. Now, mind you, I don't care if we stay here. Not at all....but!....my FIL is trying to kill me! Yes, KILL ME.....with fatteningly sweet junk food. I'm a health nut. Or try to be. I eat lots, and lots, and lots of apples. I rarely eat meat. I'm not a vegetarian, just don't seem to prefer to eat it. But everytime we come to visit....on the counters, like a buffet at the Golden Corral, are boxes and packages of pastries. There are pies and cakes. Doughnuts! My God! Ice cream you can swim in in the freezer. Help me! I lose weight but then everytime we come to visit, I leave here with an extra 10 lbs of weight retention from eating like a starving maniac. I don't keep this junk in my house and I have no self control.

Now I must get off of here and make my coffee and choose between all the varieties of death to kill myself with. LOL!

Running.........

Running is a part of me.

Once upon a time, a long time ago......I once weighed 245lbs. I was young, bored, and lazy. Okay, I'm still lazy! LOL! Anyway, I must have been in denial because I didn't see myself as the large, obese person. I really didn't. I couldn't believe it when one day something would change my life.......chest pains. Roughly 6-7 years ago this happened. It scared me. I went to the doctor and he told me I was okay....possible angina. I was over-exerting my heart muscle. I believed it. I could barely walk to the end of my driveway and get the mail. I'd sit and watch my kids play. If and when I tried to play with them....that was a joke. I was on my butt in minutes. I was "too old for this" I thought to myself. Anyway, the doctor asked me if I wanted to see the nutritionist at the hospital. He said I was an obese person. What?????? Then the light clicked on. I was FAT! So I went to the Nutrition clinic. That was the first day of my new life. I was motivated. Really, truly motivated. I asked Bobby and he agreed that we could buy a treadmill (the first in a long line of treadmills.........) to go along with my new eating habits I was learning at the Nutrition clinic. I started walking for 15 minutes a day...and I just progressed to longer minutes....then walking faster....then longer minutes....then jogging.....then longer minutes....then running....and I've been running since. (I have lost 100 lbs since that first day.) Now I run between 6-10 miles a day. I have ran 12. My new treadmill isn't broken in yet so I've had to cut back the mileage until I get accustomed to it. But this is my new life. To not run is to not breathe....and to not breathe is to not run.

My drug of choice....ADRENALINE. I love how it makes me feel. Not enough, and I am roughly depressed the rest of the day and the guilt eats its way through me. So I must run or I'm shut down for the rest of the day.

Old "war" wounds and sports bras.

Now I must mention something of the most greatest of importance....seamless sports bras. Yes. SEAMLESS SPORTS BRAS. Now I must mention this because I have the most embarrassing bruises and scars from my old "bras". When I run (and I must add that I run between 6-10 miles a day), the seams will rub and cut into my skin. Hence, leaving gawd awful scars. Well, lately I had one "cut" under the right breast that was so severe that it literally got infected. Just the thought of running, scared me. The pain hurt so bad and the sweat would send my head spinning since it contains "salt"....and we all know what salt does to old wounds, don't we? OMG! Anyway, the other day...okay last weekend in Grand Prairie, my Mom, my sister, and I went to Target (my favorite place on earth) to get my sister a purse she saw online. While walking to that part of store, we pass the workout clothes line....and it was like a light was shining above the rack....SEAMLESS SPORTS BRAS. Can you hear the angels singing? I ran to them and they had the "ugly" colors marked down. I bought them ALL! When I run, it doesn't matter what color they are. So what if they were lime green, hunter orange, etc.....they were SEAMLESS! Well, I tried the first one yesterday. No pain, no rubbing, oh the joy of it! My breast can heal. And the scars I hope will go away because there are no more seams to reopen old wounds. Oh, the joy! My "old" sport bras......in the trash! Buh-bye!

Geez!

I go to my friend's blog. I post a comment and "wham" someone comments on me. If they knew me, they would know I was being sarcastic and I was joking. I hope she got the joke...the recipient, not the commenter. It really hurt my feelings. I would never say something to deliberately hurt her. She is one of my only friends here in the Killeen area. And we are both fitness freaks and health nuts. Maybe I should just read and keep my mouth shut.....................

Classmates.com

Holy cow! I got an email the other day from classmates.com from a girl that I was friends with. I was flabbergasted. I couldn't believe it. Totally shocked. It's true, it works! I knew her when I was a freshman or sophomore..can't remember. That was 1985-86. Holy crap! Long, long time ago. Madonna was a youngin'. LOL! So was I! Anyway, we've been emailing each other for the past few days and I think we are going to hook up and meet. I don't know exactly sure the details but we will be heading towards Dallas this weekend and she lives on the other side of the "BIG" city. We might have to meet up halfway. This is so cool. I wonder what she looks like. She says she has 3 daughters. Her oldest is 16! That means she had her right out of high school. How did we lose touch? Geez, I can't even remember how we met or how we lost touch. So long ago. Okay, now I feel OLD.......................................

Mooooooo!

Today, I just feel like a heffer. Well, actually every morning I feel like a heffer. Because every morning, my breasts are engorged because my Lauren sleeps through the night and I didn't feed her. So every morning, I get up, make coffee, let the dog out, take my vitamins, get my running gear on, let the dog back in.....and then grab the breast pump. As I pump my breasts, I sit here on the computer and do my morning ritual.....with one hand. That's very hard to do. Trust me! I cruise the fitness forum I belong to, check out my online bank, go to the news sites, my email sites, and now I sit here and try half-handedly to post in my blog...........

My man!

Bobby!

Me!

Not so pretty! Geez-a-lou, look at that excess skin on my thighs...UGH! Hey, that's what you get when you lose 100 lbs. of flab................

My kids....my life! Eric, Matthew and Lauren!

Lauren!

Not a good day for my baby. Nope. It must be teething. That's what all us Mom's say! Screaming, upset....that is what she is. Not HAPPY! It took her an hour to go to sleep. There was nothing I could do but let her cry it out. My poor baby! I love her so.......

Nope, not a good day at all!