I have lots of that. I can't stop thinking of our last moments with Heidi. I should have stayed. I should have held her till her last breath. But I couldn't. Does that make me a bad "mama"? Those sad eyes pleading.......
I couldn't. I'm a coward.
Now we talk of getting another dog. I do. I don't. I do. I don't. It's easy to see such cute, pretty little puppy faces. Anybody would want one. Should I? Shouldn't I?
I can't. I'm a coward.
God, I beg of you, please! I ask that you give me peace.
God? Is Heidi okay? I miss her so.
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